Lean In is good advice, Ask For What You Want works too

Errant Musings
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photo: justinablakeney.com, Like She Said #6

I joke to my friends that I am practically illiterate since having kids. Sadly, it’s not really a joke. As a former English lit major and daughter of a published linguist, this is a pretty sad state. Recently I have been picking up the (dusty) books on my nightstand and trying to stay the course. Not declaring master literacy just yet, but I have enjoyed some progress with a few reads, including Sheryl Sandberg’s “you can have it all” manifesto, Lean In. It’s one of those books you can read in short spurts, put down and pick up again later.

This is simply preamble to a recent revelation: Ask For What You Want. Stick with me, this will make sense.

End of year, I’ve been doing a lot of plan writing and development of creative briefs for FY2014. As I am crafting the big visions, thinking about contingencies and making lists of things needed to make the execution of these big visions happen, I realize that I was not inputting what I really needed but rather what I thought would make it past approval process! Whoa. It seems I have at times, fallen into the habit of asking for “just enough’ versus what I really need and want.

I am mindful when developing plans and programs that resources are limited. The realization that I had fallen into a pattern of asking for ‘just enough’ versus the “big sky” wish list of what I want was sobering. Is this so wrong?

Not asking for what you want means you may not get what you set out to win, at least not in the long run. This is not good. Sure, sometimes, maybe often times, realities that we cannot control hit. But if we don’t lay out the big vision with the big ask, we are inevitably falling into a pattern of marginalizing what we need. I pride myself on being able to do a lot with minimal resources, time, etc., but when we are hitting refresh, dreaming big and starting anew, we need to go for it. Ask for what we know we really need. Hard line realities and the inevitable compromise will happen soon enough.

Back to reading books. A book is a commitment. Reading means diving in deeper, beyond the intro paragraph, the headlines and subheads. It means taking in information and processing, forming an opinion based on more than 140 characters or a snappy headline or a clever hashtag.

I credit my recent bedside reading with helping me to get to this moment. It’s simple, Ask For What You Want. And, honestly, how often do you find yourself asking for less, for just what you think someone will give you versus asking for what you really want?

Ask for what you want. This is going onto my New Year inspiration board. If I make one that is.